Dangerous liaisons

I was at one of the most dangerous places to be in Sydney one late November evening in 2023.

I walked away with 3 insights.

But before we get there, let me explain where I was.

Thanks to Macquarie University, Sydney played host to an evening with convicted terrorist Peter Greste and convicted spy Sean Turnell that turned a quiet corner of the NSW State Library into a deeply personal conversation about their different yet common experiences in jails in troubled lands. Peter in Egypt and Sean more recently in Myanmar.

In equal parts fascinating and frightening, I walked out enriched and humbled by the stories of generosity of inmates, resilience and mental gymnastics all told with a lightness of humour that stood in stark contrast to the reality they endured.

1. Hope can be toxic

This was startling as a statement. Actually it is a really uncomfortable thought that is counterculture and perhaps the most dangerous moment of the night. Yet, as Peter talked it through, wisdom shone through. He came to see hope as toxic in that it was harmful to his mental state. Describing it as “the cross your fingers strategy”, Peter explained that for him every hope he had kept getting dashed which in turn was incredibly debilitating. Far more empowering was a strategy to shorten the horizon, to not wish for things you cannot influence and to therefore deal with what is immediately in front of you.

For a decade or so I have been sharing #circlesofinfluence approach to help colleagues, friends and family better time and project manage, and even find a better work life balance. Central to this is working out what you can directly influence and what you cannot. It’s this focus that can breed confidence and generate momentum. I think I’ll be adding in some shortening horizons to focus on what really matters right now in our lives too.

2. The system is accountable too, even when we’re ar*ehole*

One of the audience members asked if either speaker had any inkling to meet up with their former guards; the answer was a resounding no. Yet there was one caveat; don’t blame the guards for being the guards. The capacity to have empathy for those who held your freedom and your agency captive is beyond admirable. And is it the greatest lesson from the night. We are all products of the system one way or another. So when someone wrongs you, messes up or acts egregiously, take stock of what has led them to that moment and where the system has played its part. And where it is influencing your own actions and thoughts. It may not be as deliberate and personal as you think.

3. Mental sustenance comes from devouring books

I was struck by the role books and being engaged in the wider world played for them both. The power to transport and transcend the mind and also to protect it from a system designed to break it down. One of Peter’s picks was Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search For Meaning. It reminded me how my own perspective was transformed through reading If I Was a Man by Primo Levi at 16. From a typical self-centred teen to a compassionate curious mind.

And it awakened what I have only recently discovered is a not a case of lonely unread books hoarded on shelves, but tsundoku. Roughly translated as the joy of having more books you can read in your lifetime. According to A. Edward Newton, a prominent book collector in the period before World War I, who owned 10,000 volumes at the time of his death, there is magic just in the act of looking at and knowing you own doorways to knowledge, imagination and new ideas.

“Even when reading is impossible, the presence of books acquired produces such an ecstasy that the buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching towards infinity …. (W)e cherish books even if unread, their mere presence exudes comfort, their ready access reassurance.”

Do you have a book that had a transformative impact on you? I would love to hear what is was so I can continue to practice tsundoku and let my soul soar. New horizons await.

Thanks to the Unlikely Prisoners Sean Turnell Peter Greste for an unexpectedly dangerous evening.